A Freudian Look At Dirty Harry

Posted: January 28, 2016 by S. Trevor Swenson in Uncategorized

This month on one of the basic cable channels they are featuring an “Action Movie Month”.  Naturally there are plenty of Clint Eastwood films.   I can’t believe I never noticed this before as I have watched all the spaghetti westerns and Dirty Harry movies for years.  Anyone who has watched a Dirty Harry movie knows that Det. “Dirty” Harry Callahan packs a .44 magnum pistol.  This is a HUGE and very powerful handgun.  Frankly it’s kind of overkill and unnecessary for police work.

Most of us have read a book or three and many have taken a psych class or two in college.  We have come to recognize that, like women, many men are vain and insecure creatures who are entirely too worried about body issues, which in men’s cases is the size of our penis’. So, men find ways to compensate for their small penis’ or what they believe is a small penis.  Sometime in the 1980’s a poor fellow with a serious case of micro-penis and a little too much time on his hand went out to his garage, and voila…now we have monster trucks.
Cars, clothing, Mixed Martial Arts and guns are common phallic symbols for insecure men.
I suspect Dirty Harry has a tiny-teeny peeny.
Could you just picture Dirty Harry in one of those shoot-em-up scenes complete with those great one liners; “Go ahead, Make my day”  or “Do you feel lucky…well do ya punk?”  But then the criminal he has cornered gets Freudian on him and totally wrecks his shit?
Dirty Harry: “..being as this is the .44 magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, capable of taking your head clean off…”
Bank Robber:  “Did you say you have a .44 magnum?”
DH:  “That’s what I said, punk”
BR:  Starts to stifle a giggle
DH “What the Hell you laughing at street scum”
BR:  “Well, it seems like someone is over-compensating a little bit”
DH : “What the Hell are you talking about punk?”
BR:  “Your penis,  it must be really small for you to walk around with that huge gun, and whats worse bragging about it”
DH: “Shut your goddamn mouth”
BR: ” Hey listen,  it’s OK,  a lot of women don’t care, or they say they don’t.”
DH:  ” I…uh”
BR: “I mean it’s not like we get to pick how big our dicks are”
DH: You…um….just….uh”
BR:  ” I read in Cosmo once that something like 70% of women don’t care…You ever read Cosmo?”
DH:  “Uh  well, er a couple times, but at the dentist, I don’t subscribe or anything”
BR:  “Listen man,  it’s cool,  you just need to work on that oral sex thing,  or cuddling…women really dig cuddling”
DH ” SHUT UP!!”  “Where was I?,  Oh yeah  I know what you’re thinkin, did I fire 5 or 6…”
BR:  ” I bet you wish you were 5 or 6…inches”
At this point Dirty Harry loses it and just blows the guy away.
Cut to a couple hours later, back at the precinct.  The police captain is yelling at Dirty Harry.  What is the purpose of this cliche in movies.  Why do the captains or chiefs always hate the hero or heroes?  The mayor always seems to call up and yell at them for some carnage or other.
Police Captain:”Dammit Callahan…You know who I just got off the phone with?”
Dirty Harry:  “uh  The Mayor”
PC:  “That’s right smart ass…the Mayor.  He called the chief and I had them both chewing out  my ass because of you”  (That’s another thing.  In addition to the cliche mayor or chief call, they always bring up some violently forced analingus )
DH: “He…he said I had a small dick.”
PC: The goddamn mayor was just about to…huh?  What did you say Callahan?”
DH: (Starts to cry) “He was making fun of my dick”
PC: “What did he say?”
DH: “Oh the usual,  “that’s why you became a cop, because deep down you feel weak and inadequate..”
PC”Jesus Callahan, I’m sorry”
DH: (Crying harder)  Why are they so….mean?”
PC  (Coming from around desk and hugging Dirty Harry) ”  I know….I know…  Did he ask why you drove the big long Lincoln Continental too?
DH: “No, I shot him before he could”
PC: “OK…take the rest of the day off,  don;t worry about anything…If there is one guy from Internal Affairs who’s under 5 inches, you’ll be fine”
DH “Thanks Captain”

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