Cain and Abel

Posted: November 12, 2015 by S. Trevor Swenson in Uncategorized

Cain and Abel  ( I wrote this blog entry in April, which would explain the Easter reference and shows how on top of my writing and editing.)

 Last Sunday was Easter and I decided to throw some Biblical and religion questions into my weekly trivia montage. I do a weekly trivia thing at the bar where I work every Sunday.  It allows for me to act like a more smug yet less paid Alex Trebek.  Hell, I can’t even get my wardrobe furnished by Botany 500.  Anyhoo… a couple of the questions were about Adam and Eve’s sons Cain and Abel.  After thinking about this story, I saw a lot of holes and some inconsistencies.
Here’s the run down the C&A story for those of you who don’t know.
Cain and Abel were Adam and Eve’s two sons. A & E had lots of kids according to the Bible, but Cain and Abel were their first.  Both Cain and Abel made a sacrifice to God.  Cain;a farmer, gave some wheat or some kind of grain, and Abel gave, well killed really, some sheep or lambs.  God didn’t “accept” or “have regard” for Cain’s sacrifice, but he accepted Abel’s.  Cain was pissed off.  He kills Abel.  Later God asked Cain where Abel was, and Cain got mouthy about it and responds  “Am I my brother’s keeper?”  Naturally, God finds out about the murder and banishes Cain to “The Land of Nod”
So let’s go through this and onto my problems with the story.  First of all.  A sacrifice?  Really God?  Really?  I don’t know that just sounds so…cliche.  Like tossing a virgin into a volcano.  Then God doesn’t accept or “have regard”(< That’s what The Bible said) for one of the sacrifices?  Well, that’s just rude.  Really rude.  Imagine if a parent did that to a pair of siblings.   “Well Jimmy, I liked the finger painting you made in class, but your brother’s drawing just sucked…I mean he made the sun as big as the tree and the house  DUH  Spacial relations there Picasso…Oh quit yer crying”
So naturally Cain is hurt, or “downcast” as it says in the Bible.   There’s a word that needs to make a comeback.  “How are you today Scott?”  ” Me?  Oh I’m Downcast.”
Here’s another thing I don’t get.  Cain is mad at God, but he kills his brother?  Huh? Later God asks Cain where Abel is, and Cain answers “I know not, Am I my brother’s keeper?”
Hold the phone.   First of all; doesn’t God see everything?  Isn’t that why us Catholic boys feel so guilty in regards to masturbation? Because God can see us and our frequent one-man-band concerts.  Doesn’t God also know everything?  So why is he asking where Abel is?  The only thing I can guess is that God is playing games like a cop or psycho girlfriend…He knows the answer, but wants to see if you’re going to lie.
I’m not terribly impressed with God in this story.  He strikes me as petty, rude, maybe a little mean spirited, and passive-aggressive.  I’m not impressed.
The other thing that puzzles me, is why is Cain getting mouthy with such a cranky deity?  That doesn’t strike me as all that clever?  God is capable of some seriously bad shit…like cancer, 3rd degree burns…I think he even made it rain frogs once.  Where’s the common sense.  When I’m annoyed with the scary looking dude with his gang tattooed on his neck and face standing obliviously in the subway door when I am trying to enter the train…I keep my Negative Nancy thoughts to myself.
I want some explanations.  Anyone know a patient priest or rabbi I can talk to about these questions?  I’ll even buy them coffee or a drink.  Maybe they will “Have Regard” for a double cappuccino.
And people wonder why there are so many atheists and agnostics out there.
  1. Ralph Tyler says:

    Dear Scott:

    Brave and necessary whine. my hats’s off to you/.


  2. Thank you as always my friend Ralph. Funny, I didn’t think of it as ‘brave” but I certainly can see what you mean. I’m usually just aiming for funny and hopefully thoughtful.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Very well put, Scotty. I bet you´d have a lot more questions that can´t be considered during ONE double cappucino 🙂

  4. Anonymous says:

    don´t be mad to be called “Scotty” by “Anonymous”… it´s your little Norma darling 🙂 just too lazy to log in first…

  5. mistressragecom says:

    I heart you. I never understood why the meat was accepted and the veggies/wheat/whatever was not. I mean, is God a carnivore? Gluten intolerant? On a low carb diet? I never could get a decent answer on it either. High fives to your brilliant questions.


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