More things I’m dying to say

Posted: October 2, 2012 by S. Trevor Swenson in Me & Mine
Tags: , , , , , , ,

You could really be a Beau Brummel baby, if you just give it half a chance.

I grew up on entirely too many movies, TV shows and bad books. It has left me with a flair for the dramatic, and some very odd goals in life. I have written in the past of things I have been dying to say at some point in my life. I visited upon some of these in my James Bond Cliches piece. I just thought of another one today while sitting in Casa Squalor.

“You will RUE the day…!!!”

That’s good stuff. I think it needs to be said in a snooty and pretentious baritone voice. I’m not a natural baritone. I think I’m more of a froggy tenor with a whisper of non lisping gay stereotype. But that’s OK…I’m good with voices. I can do a solid baritone if the need arises.

“You will RUE the day…!!!” needs an accompanying gesture. The one that I came up with is to wave my hand around, raising it slowly and when I hit “RUE” I punctuate by pointing a finger just slightly over my head, and holding it there as I close with “The Day…!!!”

Of course I had to look it up immediately and lookee there, someone asked what this statement means.

Another reason I want to say this so much is because there are too many people out there that I feel slighted and wronged by and I want every one of them to rue the day. I spend entirely too much time dreaming up elaborate or petty revenge schemes that never come to fruition…but, they keep me warm at night along with Chong the cat.

I am praying the day that I actually get to say this that I will have forgotten to shave and decided that morning to groom my new mustache into an Oil Can Harry/Snidely Whiplash type of thing.

Could be a good look for me, who knows.

“You will RUE the day…!!!” can only be used a few times in one’s lifetime….otherwise it loses it’s potency. I would say, a good evil master mind has maybe…3 or 4 YWRTD’s in a lifetime. You can’t say it twice to the same person, or even in front of someone else you said it to previously. That would lead to the person you said it to before reassuring the current person…”Oh please, he told me I’d “Rue the Day” four years ago and all he did was leave a flaming bag of dog grumpies on my parents front porch…and they weren’t even home. ooser-lay” then they’d laugh at me.

That kind of encounter would lead me to another coveted cliche statement…”Oh-ho…you may laugh now….”

And?

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