Finally some writing

Posted: September 23, 2011 by S. Trevor Swenson in Life, Me & Mine
Tags: , , , , ,

I extend my heartfelt apologies to the handful of people who are kind enough to follow my idiotic ramblings for my radio silence of the past couple weeks. I have actually been…get ready for this…busy. Yes, busy, with a semblance of a life and everything. I hope my dear readers will appreciate that I am putting off some much needed and seriously neglected housework in order to write of my last couple weeks. My home is taking on that Son-of-Sam-Chic look that the ladies seem to dig so much. I suspect even the roaches are embarrassed to have anyone over.

First off, I am back in school and taking 3 classes. Biology, Video Production and American Film. The Biology is closer to two classes given the amount of work and class time. Not to mention the money I have had to spend on books and lab equipment, which could easily feed a Bangladeshi village for a couple months. For those of you who didn’t know, I am slowly inching my way through a pre-clinical nursing program which at this rate will have me in some inner city ER killing patients in about 6-8 years. “Why is a nursing student taking film and video classes?” Because he needs to have full time status for his loans and grants, and one science class per term is all his special little mind can handle.

In addition to school I have actually found a job. A real one, not the fictitious variety I share with women I meet or successful relatives. I have a job as a waiter (or “server” as we are called these days) at a spanking new restaurant and pub. I had applied to be a bartender. The owners purposefully over hired the staff to see who works out etc., so it has been me and 1 or 2 other servers fighting over the small handful of diners in the quiet dining room of the pub, while the bartenders amass small fortunes. Yes, the bad news is that the food/restaurant part of the new pub is taking off at a snail’s pace. The good news is that I am fond of my new employers who are pleasant, supportive and encouraging. This is a nice change from my former employer of over 17 years who graduated cum laude from The Leona Helmsley School of Hospitality.

Name on the right changed to protect the privacy of previous employer (As far as you know)

Name on the right changed to protect the privacy of previous employer (As far as you know)

It is probably for the best that things are slow at the moment, as it gives me a chance to work on becoming a proficient and seemingly pleasant server. I am happy to report that my fake smile and faux friendliness have improved by leaps and bounds. Now if I can only keep from handing out menus with my middle finger out facing the customers and muttering to myself, I might start making some money.

Imagine having to endure five . . . hours . . . of . . . this . . . guy. . . zzzzzzzzzz

Imagine having to endure five . . . hours . . . of . . . this . . . guy. . . zzzzzzzzzz

My classes are all long this term. American Film and Video are both 4 hours long, and Biology is 6 hours on Thursday and 1 hour on Mondays. Today in Biology as the minutes dragged by it occurred to me that 5 hours of lecture is about 4 and a half hours more than my ADD riddled grey matter can handle. The teacher is a nice enough guy which makes it difficult to hate him, and this is unfortunate as I take a special glee in hating teachers and coupling this with classroom antics that make them question their career choices. I have noticed recently that when the teachers take attendance that my name is usually prefaced with a sigh of defeat and a muttering of “Scott’s here.”

I shall close here now dear reader as I have Biology homework and terms to mispronounce. I have missed writing for all of you and promise to keep you updated on the bad sit com that is my life.

  1. Mistress Rage says:

    Ugh, my high school history teacher talked liked Ben Stein in one looong monotone boringclass. It was torture I tell ya.

    Also, I dislike the word server. I think food liaison is a better term and less demeaning.

  2. Tallkronan says:

    Isn’t the correct term “slave”? Foodslave and drinkslave? I always thought it was! 🙂
    Jokes aside- I have enough to juggle when doing catering jobs, which in this country used to be my side gig. Working hour upon hour in a proper restaurant with complicated orders full of “but not with this” and “just a pinch of that” is more than I can ever imagine. My hat is off to those who can, and who on top of it manage to make the moment in the restaurant a pleasant experience.


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