Meh

(RING)

“Hey”

“Hi”

“How’s it going?”

“Meh”

I just love the term “Meh”. Given my rants and raves I should probably hate “Meh” as it is generally used in text and IM speak. But, strange as it sounds, I like it.

I don’t know who first coined the term “Meh” but I would love to meet them and give them a hug or buy them an ice cream cone or a beer depending on their preference. I am guessing the originator of “Meh” is a drinker. Ice cream is just too damned cheerful.

I like the term “Meh” for a couple reasons. First, it describes my attitude toward most of the things on God’s green Earth to a tee. “Meh” is nothing good by any stretch, but it’s not horrifying either. “Meh” is “Your cholesterol is a little high” but it is not the wrong answer on an AIDS test. “Meh” is slightly sucky or a bit of a let down. It’s at least a disappointment, and curmudgeonly miserable little turnips like myself need terms like “Meh” in our extensive arsenal of complaint.

Going back to the cholesterol levels and AIDS test, could you just imagine going for the results of your annual physical exam, the doctor looks at your chart, makes a face and says “Meh”.

It’s probably not a great response after sex.I think if a woman said “Meh” to me after lovemaking, I’d spend the next three weeks in a deep depression, wearing sweat pants, ordering in and not leaving the house.

Another reason I like “Meh” is that it is a segue into complaint and bitching. And I LOVE complaint and bitching, especially if I’m the one in possession of the bitch ball. Once “Meh” has been typed and sent, or less frequently uttered, it screams for a response of “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Meh” can run the gamut from “I got my period” to “I lost my wallet” to a long and entertaining tale of a woeful day, week or month. What’s even better is that those who employ “Meh” are usually entertaining in their grievances. I don’t wish any ill on those I love or like, but I’m not ashamed to admit that I enjoy a well told tale of a sucky day.

Yes, I am quite fond of “Meh” It seems to be a word custom made for me. “Meh” reminds me of a condition I frequently suffered from as a child which I called “Blah”

“Mommy?”

“Yes”

” I don’t feel good. Can I stay home from school?”

(Feeling my forehead) “Don’t feel good hmmm?”

“No”

“What’s wrong? Your stomach?”

“No”

“Sore throat?”

“No”

“What’s the matter?”

“I just feel…’blah’ ”

“Blah hmmm?”

“Yeah”

Mom wasn’t buying my diagnosis. I tried the “Blah” and it’s vague symptoms several times before realizing that my mother only accepted strep throat and fevers as a reason to miss school. “Blah” was a real condition. I am proud that at such a young age I was already resisting authority and structure. They might be able to make me go to school, but I’ll be damned if I was going to learn anything. It’s also interesting to note that tormenting teachers and recess treated the symptoms of Blah.

Funny thing about “Meh” is that people are more interested in hearing about a “Meh” day than they are about an awful day. The difference is that “Meh” is entertaining,where as an awful day’s description is bound to depress.

Meh is interesting in that when it describes someone’s day, we want to hear about it, but if it is used to describe a book, movie, nightclub, restaurant or CD; no one would want to experience it. Why is that? Do we secretly delight in the crappy days of our friends, family and co-workers? Of course we can’t sound or act like we enjoy the crappy days of those closest to us. That just wouldn’t do.

(RING)

“Hello”

“Hey, it’s me”

“Hey”

“How are you doing?”

“Meh”

(Obvious delight) “Oh, wait a second, let me get a drink, I want to hear this”

(CLICK)

I have had several friends tell me they delight in my entertaining and witty litany of complaint and bad days. They giggle at the minutia of my coffee being made wrong, and of subway trains slamming their doors in my face after I dash to catch them. Then I have other friends who don’t come over to play so much because of excessive bitching. Make up your mind people. I get confused.