The Bitter Insomniac

Posted: November 25, 2010 by S. Trevor Swenson in Me & Mine
Tags: , , , ,

I laid down to sleep but my aggravation over my screen writing class kept me awake. I figured my time would be better spent chain smoking and looking up negative things on the internet . . . After looking up “The Least Funny Comedians” on Google I actually felt better. I think I should have my own talk show at 2 or 3am called “The Bitter Insomniac.” I’d have a side kick who didn’t speak a word of English, but who would laugh at everything I said. Maybe a fat and jolly fellow from somewhere in South America. The kind who seem to be a requirement on Spanish television. I would wear my prized blue bathrobe and slippers for my talk show and would interview quirky everyday people. High school lunch ladies, Korean women from nail salons, the guy who delivers my tacos, former roadies for Bachman Turner Overdrive, people who collect commemorative plates etc. I’d have performance art pieces like young badly behaved children drinking RedBull and playing dodge ball with senior citizens, amputee break dancers, and crazy homeless people choirs.

In lieu of a regular band I would compile the worst subway performers, tuneless mariachi artists with gold teeth, the creepy blind guy who plays the theme from The Godfather over and over and of course Mr. Bojangles the emaciated little blind black man who sings “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy”

Honestly, can The Bitter Insomniac be any worse than the soulless “reality” TV being churned out at breakneck speed these days?

Comments
  1. Tallkronan says:

    I’d watch you every day! Or night! It sounds like a great show! I’m curious about the class you didn’tlike though. Are you just not very good at taking criticism, or did it have other flaws? 😉

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