Posted: November 25, 2010 by S. Trevor Swenson in Life
Tags: , , ,

I just finished watching some football games, and something very interesting occurred to me.  It is an enforced rule in professional football that players are not allowed to “taunt” the opposing team at any time, especially after scoring or capitalizing on a mistake the opposing team has made.  Anyone caught “taunting” can and will be fined for doing it.

I don’t understand this for one second.  Big, macho, bad-ass football players aren’t allowed to tease each other, yet getting broken bones and concussions is “just part of the game”? If you ask me, taunting should be an integral part of the game. Teams should hire unemployed comedy writers to come up with new, malicious and entertaining taunts. Even teams that have horrible losing records might end up benig the best at taunting.  I can just hear the announcers now.  “You know Howie, Detroit hasn’t won a single game all season, but I just love it when they collectively moon the other teams stadium after every big play.”

Are you trying to tell me that football (or any sport for that matter) wouldn’t be more entertaining if after each score the winning team sent players over to urinate on the other team’s emblem? I think after every victory the winning team should chase down the losing coach, take his pants as a trophy of sorts and give him a wedgie.  It would certainly add something to the post-game interviews with the losing coaches. “Coach: how do you feel after this loss?”   “How do I FEEL? I just got my pants removed and my underwear pulled over my head by the Panthers defensive line on national TV!!!  How do you THINK I FEEL?”

I think the reason behind any taunting penalties is for the sake of the kids watching the game.  Yeah, kids don’t know anything about taunting. Anyone that thinks this has never dreaded a beating during recess. So, we get rid of the taunting for the message it sends the kids, and yet bombard them with commercials that seem to say “Just order a Coors light and sexy, nubile 19 year olds in skimpy cheerleader outfits will have a pillow fight on the bars pool table to decide which one gets to go home with the Coors man.”  I have been drinking beer for 2 decades now just waiting for that to happen.

  1. Tallkronan says:

    I love the last two sentences again! Great punch!
    Plus I agree with you on all. You ARE smart AND cute! (Did I mention funny?)


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