Archive for May, 2010

Supermarket Fun

Posted: May 19, 2010 by S. Trevor Swenson in Advice
Tags: ,

I would be willing to bet that a person could shoplift and not get in trouble if they did it in a highly entertaining manner. I think it would be fun to go into a supermarket with brightly colored, extra-large sweatpants (yellow, red or purple come to mind). Go to the frozen food section and just start stuffing food down your sweatpants. Frozen peas, broccoli with cheese sauce, TV dinners etc. Be VERY blatant about it. Saunter over to the meats and then keep filling up your sweatpants. Then attempt to dance your way out of the store. If you’re stopped just act surprised. Refuse to take anything out of your pants, but tell whoever stops you “They’re welcome to peek inside” My bet is you’d get away with it.

Here is another fun supermarket prank, although I’m sure it could be done in a big chain drugstore, or maybe even a Wal-Mart. Run at top speed into the supermarket. Tear ass up and down the aisles pushing other people’s carts out of your way. Act very frantic. Run up and down the aisles doing this until you reach the Health and Beauty section. Go up to the DEPENDS undergarments and grab a pack, then run to the cashier. If there are people in line in front of you just gently push them aside saying “excuse me, coming through, sorry, need to get by”. Reach the cash register/cashier and start digging violently through your pockets looking for money. Then . . . wet your pants. Sigh heavily, say “Dammit” and drop the pack of DEPENDS and slink out of the store.