Beesh’s Presumptions

Posted: February 22, 2010 by S. Trevor Swenson in Me & Mine
Tags: ,

While visiting my moms, my friend Mary aka Beesh came by to visit and make use of the pool at my mother’s condo complex.  The first time she had her young daughters in tow, the following day Beesh returned solo to spend the day poolside with me and enjoy a pool party sponsored by the condo association.

I suppose the “Beesh” nickname deserves some small explanation.  I have known Mary/Beesh for over twenty years.  We were friends and even shared a squat briefly with her boyfriend at the time and some other young punks.  One day Mary was whining to her boyfriend about this or that.  Her boyfriend; without even looking up responded “Shut up Beesh”.  Mary was angry and her rage was redoubled when I started laughing and calling her Beesh as well.

Since the little ones weren’t with us, we didn’t have to edit what we said so much and didn’t have to spell out all the no-no words like “Slut” “Bitch” and “Fuck”. We hadn’t seen each other for a long time and had a lot of catching up to do.  We discussed what a nightmare dating was and tried to compare war stories on the dating front and figure out which sex had the most to contend with.  I shared with her a couple dating horror stories.  One date last year, I bought a gift for a young lady, paid for tickets to a film, dinner and then drinks afterwards.  I wasn’t tacky enough to mention the actual monetary amount, but the girl never even thanked me afterwards.  I got an email a few days later saying that she’d had a nice time, yet still, never were the words “Thank” and “You” forthcoming.  Another date I had the girl I was with answered literally ten cell phone calls over dinner.  I vowed to walk out on the next woman that pulled that crap, after taking my meal to go and having the bill delivered to her during her cell phone conversation.
Mary listened and told war stories of her own.  My favorite of Mary’s was her tale of dating and screwing a Jamaican fellow with many missing teeth.  After laughing at her, I was suddenly upset with her.  “You mean to tell me, that you have dropped your pants and spread ‘em for every single man in western Massachusetts, the roadies of Biohazard, the better part of Crown Heights Brooklyn AND toothless fifty year old Jamaican guys, and yet you’ve never been quite drunk enough to test drive a Scotty?”  I said.  “I suppose it’s nice to learn where I stand in the grand scheme of things.”  “He wasn’t TOOTHLESS”, Mary protested ” He was just missing a bunch of teeth”.  I rolled my eyes.  “And besides” Mary continued” I made out with you that one time at my house when you me and Lynn were hanging out. I can’t believe you don’t remember that”

The subject changed to the paying for dates and drinks.  I told her I was an old fashioned guy and that I enjoyed taking women out.  I’d just liked to be thanked for it.  If the girl would reach for her purse and OFFER to help pay for the meal, that would be a sign of a good upbringing as well.   I wouldn’t accept the money, but in this case, the thought really does count. I also mentioned as a bartender that I didn’t much care for women that came into the bar, nursed one drink until some guy (or guys) started buying drinks for them.  Then they would proceed to drink like sailors on payday.   Mary just shrugged at that. “You mean you think it’s OK to go to a bar without any money and just wait for guys to buy you drinks?” I asked.   “I’ve gone to bars without any money plenty of times, and guys buy me drinks, it’s just how it is” said Mary.  “Just because ‘that’s the way it is’ doesn’t make it right” I countered.  Then the conversation REALLY began to take off.

Beesh: ” If guys buy me drinks, what’s the problem”
Me: “It’s the presumption that’s disgusting”
Beesh: ” I’m not presuming anything”
Me: “Yes you are, you’re presuming that guys will buy you drinks, hence showing up to a bar without any money”
Beesh:”They’re just being nice”
Me: “No Mary, that is a misconception, men are never nice, they want to fuck you, and they feel the odds of achieving this goal will be made easier by plying the woman first with sixty or seventy Jager shots.  I can’t believe you’re a drink whore”
Beesh: “I’m not a drink whore, I’m not going to have sex with them”
Me: “OK, my mistake, you’re a drink tease”
Beesh: “I’m not a drink tease either. They buy me drinks and I just talk to them”
Me:” Would you accept drinks from guys that you KNOW are interested in you, and you KNOW you have no interest in them whatsoever?”
Beesh: “I’m just talking to them”
Me: “So what is the amount of time a man can expect per drink?”
Beesh: “Oh shut up”
Me: “So if a gay guy is eye fucking me and buys me a drink, should I accept it? Is there some kind of motive involved”
Beesh:” It’s not like THAT”
Me: “Yes it is, it’s totally like that.”
Me: “Fuckin drink whore”
Beesh: “Oh fuck off”

It’s so wonderful to reconnect with old friends.

  1. Tallkronan says:

    Interesting topic. I’ve often paid guys with sex.


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